Today Iâ€™m a little bit in a gloomily mood. This mood is even so strange that I want to write this blog in English because I think some feelings sound nicer when they are brought in English.
Itâ€™s not always possible to follow your heart. You want to do everything it says to you, but there are reasons enough to keep you from doing those thingsâ€¦
People have feelings, but they donâ€™t know how to express themselves. You want to say something to a special person, but sometimes the words just come out the wrong way. You never intended to hurt that person but unintentionally you just didâ€¦
I heard some music today and the chorus lines touched me straight into my heart.
â€œWhat in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue.
When everything Iâ€™ll ever do Iâ€™ll do for you.â€
This line is not intentionally for a brown-eyed girl, but the contention of the words are the best description of why Iâ€™m feeling the way Iâ€™m feeling right nowâ€¦
I heard the song a thousand times before, but I never listened to this song being so aware of what it meant.
At one time youâ€™re feeling great and just minutes after youâ€™re fading like a flower.
If some of your best friends tell you they donâ€™t know how they feel about themselves, or they tell you theyâ€™re not happy with who they are, you want to tell them that they are the greatest person. You want to tell them that they are very special to you and to a lot of other people around them. But, like I said before, sometimes the words just come out wrong. Maybe this line will helpâ€¦
â€œTo the world you are somebody,
but to somebody you are the world!â€
I canâ€™t describe what in particular Iâ€™m trying to say whit this blog, I just felt the need to write down some feelings because I donâ€™t know how to express myself when Iâ€™m around people. Iâ€™s like I wrote a couple of months agoâ€¦ â€œItâ€™s not easy being greenâ€ or the blog I wrote about a year agoâ€¦ â€œReflectionâ€œ.
This time of the year is always a dark time in my life. Next weekend it has been 19 years since my mom died, and I still miss her every day. Itâ€™s also the time of the year that everybody is talking about the upcoming holidays. But I donâ€™t want to spent X-mas on my own, I want to spent it with someone I love. Sure, Iâ€™m going to spent it with my family, and Iâ€™m not really aloneâ€¦ I just want to spent it with that special person. Which brings me to the next question, will I ever find that special person. I hate being alone right now, I just want someone who gives me a hug when I come home at night, who kisses me when Iâ€™m going to bed, who tells me she will love no matter whatâ€¦
I know, this isnâ€™t the most happy blog I ever wrote, but I just had to put the words down so they donâ€™t longer only exist in my headâ€¦
Iâ€™m a very rich person. Rich meaning I have great friends who will do anything for me if I asked them to, but just that special one, will she appear in my world? Where do I find all the answersâ€¦
(Sorry voor de mensen die niet goed Engels begrijpen, maar dit was even een manier die ik nodig had om mijn gevoelens te uitenâ€¦)